Selfish

creative direction CYNTHIA NGUYEN
photography VINCENT KO special thank you to
Tobi, Geox Boutique Minimalist & Glossier

“that is the thing about selfish people. they gamble entire beings. entire souls to please their own. one second they are holding you like the world in their lap and the next they have belittled you to a mere picture. a moment. something of the past. one second. they swallow you up and whisper they want to spend the rest of their life with you. but the moment they sense fear. they are already halfway out the door. without having the nerve to let you go with grace. as if the human heart means that little to them.

and after all this. after all of the taking. the nerve. isn’t it sad and funny how people have more guts these days to undress you with their fingers than they do pick up the phone and call. apologize. for the loss. and this is how you lose her.

– selfish”
― Rupi Kaur

Stemmed from this very quote above is a feeling that is so relatable to so many, but brought up little in discussion. Is it because it makes us feel vulnerable and irresponsible for our actions when explaining to others? Or is because we believe that 90% people just simply don’t care? I question why concealing these kinds of emotions away from the public is being done while half the people feel uncertainty and depression from this.This way of feeling has reached me more frequently than I least expect it. It has made me question my standards, myself and my choices.

I would doubt myself after what I would say, wear or put out. I was judgemental and extremely critical of my own portrayal in public and online. What I delivered online became the foundation of how most new people got to know me before meeting me— Linkedin, Facebook, Instagram and online dating profiles as well.

However, what we often do is forget to recognize that others may not be as considerate, kind and self-assured as you really are. The shortage of communication and all the assumptions from the other side are derived from cowardliness and the scarcity of consciousness. Typically, people are selfish because they, themselves, lack understanding of what they really want and have their priorities arranged in a list that simply doesn’t align with yours.